Life over 60 is full of change. I'm coping with the help of yoga. You?

Change is often on my mind these days. I'm at that point in my life where not only are things changing around me, but things are changing within me too.

In the next few years (or maybe months, who knows!) we'll be downsizing the house. I've been watching several friends do that recently, and know that my turn is coming.

Some days it seems exciting. Less of a yard to tend (or to feel guilty about not attending to), fewer rooms to vacuum, and cupboards filled only with what I need now, not what I needed to raise three kids, a dog, a cat, birds, guinea pigs, hamsters . . .

Other days I get pangs of anxiety thinking about the work that move will entail. I mean, I have stuff! Thirty years of family accumulation. Toys I saved for my grandkids to play with. Plastic tubs with things I put away for "later" that I knew I'd never want again but just couldn't let go of at the time.

So whenever an enthusiastic mood strikes, I go through a closet or drawer and clean it out. I'll wait til the weather cools before crawling through the attic to do the same. Toss, sell, give away, that's my motto some days!

And when my emotions get watery, I let myself step back. It doesn't have to happen in a day. My motto those days is: Pause and reflect

Doing it bit by bit is less overwhelming, and reminds me that my sentimental attachment to things has faded with time (thank goodness!).

Change is inevitable but it can be fun and exciting! What changes are you facing now or in the near future? It may sound weird, but yoga can really help you through the process. Boy, if I hadn't learned how to use my breath to calm my nervous system, I'd be a mess! Not to mention how yoga has kept me strong and vital enough to carry heavy things up and down stairs!!

Let yoga help you too. My group classes are great; but if you want to make even more progress, private sessions are the way to go. Yes, pricier; but worth it. My current private students have been with me for 5+ years; I think that's a good testament to the value of a personalized practice.

Email me at yogamudra.jen@gmail.com to ask any questions: Where, how much, what you can expect. I look forward to hearing from you! (I love partner yoga too - grab a spouse or bestie and let's see what you can do together!)

Together, let’s change for the better.

Wedding? I sure hope so!

We had a beautiful wedding in the backyard a month ago. (OMG a month ago?! It seems like last weekend!!) Like many things, it was a mixture of joy and anxiety; and in the end, it was perfect.

But of course, not everything goes as smoothly as you’d like. And a mere five days before the wedding date, we weren’t even sure there would be a ceremony! The Sunday before the wedding, Lily had a gall badder attack* and was admitted to the hospital. Her groom, Curtis, spent the days with her and came home at night to care for their 3 month old baby, who was left in my care during the daytime. Texts flew through the family - is the wedding on? Will Lily make her own wedding? 

Hey, the food was ordered, the tent was on its way, the dress was pressed, and Lily was determined to have her best day. And that's what happened! The doctors finally gave her the OK to put off surgery until she returned to San Diego, as long as she was careful with her diet. They told her, one glass of champagne but no Italian food!

This was one of those times I was SO grateful for my yoga and EFT practices. My daughter was in the hospital, which is anxiety-producing. I was tending an infant, which is joyful and tiring. (Yes, I had help!) But the days were long and there was a huge sigh of relief when Curtis brought his bride-to-be home from Morristown Memorial.

Meanwhile, when I'd get a call from Lily, crying because she missed her baby (and was tired of pumping instead of nursing), I'd drop into my yoga breath so I wouldn't cry unhelpfully along with her. When I got nervous about a possible surgery for Lily, I'd tap on my fears until I felt like whatever happened, it would be okay. 

I was able to keep grounded and calm and tend to the baby, keep the wedding plans moving forward, and even go to the July 4 parade! (I did NOT vacuum though. That was a step too far.)

Keeping my nervous system regulated has taken practice, and the results have been well worth it. My yoga and energy tools come in handy, not just to make me feel relaxed, but to keep my head clear and my body able to handle unexpected things. If you’d like to have the ability to make good decisions and not go off the deep end when things get wild, let me know. I can help. Go to the Contact Me page of this website and shoot me an email! I look forward to hearing from you.

Yoga Plus: Practice yoga as you are, now

The story on my website about how I got started with yoga describes a bout of sciatica* I got through with the help of acupuncture. After the sessions had healed that pain, the acupuncturist, Helen, suggested I try yoga to keep my back in shape, and I never looked back from there.

That is true. I did use a Rodney Yee VHS tape to get started with yoga. I bought more tapes and followed along with 90’s fitness personalities like Kathy Smith, who were adding yoga to their aerobic dancing repertoires. But my real yoga practice began when my kids’ ballet teacher invited the moms to a new, weekly yoga class. 

I was hooked. Soon I was taking every class she offered, which at one point was three a week. My body took to it immediately and the awkward poses quickly felt familiar and right. I have a naturally strong and flexible body, and although I have never been thin, yoga didn’t care. 

A few years into my practice, I gained some weight. I don’t remember what was happening back then, but for a year or three I carried an extra fifteen pounds on my, as I already mentioned, never thin body. Yoga didn’t care. 

I could feel the extra padding at the waist during Bound Angle Pose. I bought stretchy tanks tops to wear under my t-shirt so no one would have to glimpse my soft white belly during Downward Facing Dog. I started wearing my yoga clothes more because my regular clothes were uncomfortable, but yoga still didn’t care. 

Then an old knee injury came back to haunt me. I hustled back to Helen for more acupuncture, and she told me to go to a doctor. I resisted that, and decided to first lose weight to see if that helped. It did help some, but not enough. I had surgery to remove excess synovial fluid from my knee and a few weeks later was back to yoga. 

All this to say, if you’ve been wanting to start a yoga practice but didn’t think yoga was for you because you carry some extra weight, or have a cranky knee, or think you’re too old, or whatever . . . yoga doesn’t care.

When the financial mess hit in 2008 and I found myself with some time on my hands, yoga studios had started to proliferate. My sister suggested I become a yoga teacher and next thing you know I’m hanging out with some sweet people I still hang out with today, learning to teach others that thing I loved. 

I already knew yoga would be great for pretty much anyone. Now I knew how to demonstrate that was true. 

The movement we do in yoga is endlessly adaptable. You can’t get up from the floor? Practice with a chair. Your knee hurts when you bend it like that? Keep it straighter. You tip over too easily when you try to balance? Hold a wall and for heaven’s sake, keep practicing because balance gets more and more important as we age! 

Then there are the other parts of yoga that help us push through this often frustrating, scary, unexpected world we inhabit: Breath, meditation, connection. 

If I didn’t know how to breathe through my stress, I don’t know how I would have handled my sister’s untimely passing. If I hadn’t learned how to meditate, I think my mind would have spun out of control more than once during this pandemic. If I didn’t have my yoga students to keep me grounded and give my weeks some structure, I wouldn’t know what day it was!

What yoga DOES care about is that we are resilient, that we learn to recognize what is happening within our bodies and all around us. Yoga cares when we feel off-balance, and it brings us back toward center. It is concerned with our emotional state as much as our physical state. It helps us use what we have to move forward into a more even, stable place. 

Yoga is not magic, though it has felt that way to me sometimes. Yoga is a practice, and there is always more to learn and benefit from. Yoga isn’t a cure-all but if you use it in conjunction with your conventional medical partners, it can be a powerful adjunct to your healing. 

I’ve been walking the yoga path since 2000; it seems like both forever ago and just yesterday. I still haven’t been thin, and my knee still reminds me to be aware, and I don’t do Crow Pose anymore, but yoga is still my guide. 

It’s not too late to start. You are not too old or too heavy or too awkward. Take it from me: Yoga helps with Life. Talk to your doctor, then call me when she agrees that yes, yoga is for you! 

We can build a practice that fits you. You can build your resilience, strength, and balance. You can learn to soothe your anxious states, and come back to an appreciation of your body, your mind, and even of this crazy world we inhabit. 

Peruse this website for more information (and to read my “official” how-I-got-started-in-yoga story), then email me and we can set up a time to talk. There is no obligation; I’d love to chat with you and see how you’re doing.

Peace to you and yours.

Jeannette

*I know how I hurt myself: Lifting my squirming toddler high enough out of the grocery cart to maneuver her clunky sneakers free from those leg holes, then up higher and over the handlebar into my arms. Though she was only 18 months or so, she was tall, and lifting her so high at that awkward angle caused an instant twinge that grew into a long-lasting pain. I can still see that scene in the parking lot of Shop-Rite and it makes me grimace. 

Taking time off from Yoga Teacher Training in 2009 to participate in some home repair in upstate New York. Dangling readers and all!

Personal Development is the New finding myself

The Good, the Bad, and the Lovely

Personal Development, or PD, is getting a bad rap these days as a selfish, me-me-me practice.

Yes, that can happen! A PD practice can begin with an effort to get rid of some negative thinking, or to get more physically fit; then we get caught up in the process and never move beyond ourselves.

Personal Development is not a new idea. Remember people saying, “I need to find myself” and then backpacking through Europe or joining a commune or otherwise leaving the familiar and searching for answers to internal questions? 

So why is modern “Personal Development” being criticized now?

Because too many people are using it as an excuse to stay stuck! Of course there is always more to learn, but at some point we need to step out of school and into real life. Which to me means that we need to turn our beautiful, personally developing selves toward service. Start radiating those hard-earned good vibes outwardly and not keeping them all to yourself. Get out there and help others!

The Good

Learning what makes you tick is useful. Turning inward is a necessary part of being human. These practices teach us not only about ourselves, but about humanity at large.

And it’s often not a one-and-done proposition.

To stay physically fit, you can’t take a six week fitness class then get back on the couch. You may not need a personal trainer for the rest of your life, but creating a habit of regular movement will serve you well and keep you on track.

Seeing a therapist or a counselor who helps you move through life with more clarity and ease is usually time and money well spent.

Reading books that inspire you and show you that you are not alone in your struggles can help shift your perspective and see things from a better place.

So what’s the problem?

The Bad

The reason for any sort of development is to actually develop something! And hopefully to develop something useful.

A housing development is planned to create shelter for families. There is the planning stage, getting permits, then the actual building. Voila, a new neighborhood filled with kids riding bikes in the street.

Do the work, then share the creation.

Here, my friends, is where today’s PD movement can let us down.

We do the work, then look around for more work in the same place. We embellish our creation by adding more and more details. And we never let anyone actually move in - we never share our creation.

The Lovely

Learning new things, taking great and meticulous care of our physical bodies, and working to uplift ourselves is fabulous - as long as we come back home and share our shiny new knowledge with others. As long as we take the time to inspire, support and uplift our community.

I don’t expect everyone to start serving in lunch lines or help hand out coats to people in need. Although you might! Perhaps you’ll think outside the box and use your creative mind, utilizing all that learning you’ve been doing, and come up with a new idea to uplift others.

You may have a personal life experience that would inspire others toward healing. Write a book.

You may be a natural teacher. Create a program that helps others find themselves (LOL) and also teaches them to pay it forward.

If you are an out-of-the-box sort of person, dream up useful and creative services and put them out into the world - or into your neighborhood, or even just into your own household. 

These things don’t need to be huge, they just need to be shared.

These things don’t need to be done for free, either. You can (and most of the time, you should) charge a fair rate for your work. Then add some volunteer work.

Take a deep breath and put your personal development to work for you. It may take a leap of faith or some false courage to begin, but believe me, the rewards you reap from helping others are exponentially greater than what you get from just helping yourself.

Try it; you’ll like it.

Let me know your ideas so I can support you - I’m ready to cheer you on!

Radical Hope vs the Slough of Despair

We are all tired of putting up with what is happening Out There, from covid to climate change to political bullshit. We are worn out, and it’s just too hard to keep up a good front. It seems like nothing we do will help, and our last nerve is frayed. 

It is easy to imagine doomsday scenarios because we know the Life truth that everything eventually comes to an end, so our imaginations don’t have to make much of a leap to The Worst. But just because doom is easier to picture than good fortune doesn’t mean we can’t hold out for the better side to come out ahead.

That’s where Radical Hope comes in. We need to shake ourselves loose from the enervating clutch of social media, news, even our doomsaying friends and neighbors (and we are all doomsayers at some point because staying uplifted and positive at all times is practically impossible).

When you notice yourself ankle deep in the slough of despair, use your final spurt of survival energy and reach out. Grab your courage, take the hand of another who is feeling some uplift energy, and give yourself and this world the benefit of Grace.

In other words, believe in the impossible. Because when it comes down to it, nobody really knows the end of this story, so we may as well make up a good one.

How to believe in the impossible?  I haven’t quite figured that part out yet but here are some things to consider, to start you on your way.

Ink in an hour, or a day, to do something that helps keep you sane and healthy. Massage, yoga, meditation, run, read…. Whatever floats your boat in this perilous storm.

Create a weekly family or social practice. Think dinner, game night, or other activity; either within your household or with friends. Keep to it as a ceremonious, not-to-be-messed-with appointment, like the way your grandma used to attend Sunday church service.

If you have the funds, find a way to take a yearly deep reset. Heading to a tropical location and being intentional about resting or taking part in adventures (without over-imbibing alcohol the whole time) would be great; but for most of us, maybe rent a shore house or mountain cabin for a weekend. You’ll probably have to cook and clean which ruins the vibe a little, but still, being away from the usual grind and people and media will be beneficial. 

Find a way to get off the “just surviving” wheel and start to thrive again. Stop answering “How are you?” with “well, at least I got out of bed this morning.” That is a sorry and may I say irritating habit that brings everyone down! Maybe it’s cute from a 105-year-old, but not from your healthy but gloomy spouse or friend.

Give yourself grace, and know that every down, sad, or even despairing moment that is followed by an upswing is another building block to your own resilience. Swing yourself up, whatever it takes, and let’s step forward feeling stronger, happier, and more hopeful than we now think is possible. 

The Santa Clause; or, Your Heart on Stress

Remember that scene in The Santa Clause where Tim Allen is running on the treadmill in the doctor’s office after gaining a ridiculous amount of weight (and a full beard)? His doctor is giving him a stress test to be sure his ticker is working properly. Of course, Santa’s heart is fine.

What the doctor didn’t test, though, was something just as important: The effect that the mental and emotional stress of suddenly being Santa Claus has on Scott Calvin as he adjusts to his new life. 

Much is known about the effects of physical stress on the heart. After a heart attack, the patient is told not to lift heavy items, and is given an injunction to “avoid stress”. But a recent study in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA)  looked at patients with underlying heart disease from the perspective of how mental and emotional stress affects heart health, and found that “(m)ental stress–induced myocardial ischemia was significantly associated with an increased risk of cardiovascular events in patients with coronary heart disease” (JAMA).

In other words, mental and emotional stress is harmful to a heart patient. And if it is harmful to someone who has known heart problems, it is probably harmful to everyone’s cardiac health. 

Most of you reading this are probably already aware of the benefits of lowering mental and emotional stress in your life. You’ve probably practiced some yoga or meditation, or make sure to get regular Reiki sessions or massages, because you notice how much better you feel when you do these things.

Many of you reading this are also thinking, Wow, my dad/husband/sister needs to stop overreacting in traffic or at the tv news or when the neighbor leaves his trash cans on the street all week.

Bursting into fits of anger is a habit for many people. They may come to enjoy the rush of hormones that occurs when they blow their top; but it is adrenaline and cortisol that are being released - the fight or flight duo - and not the feel-good combo of serotonin and dopamine, nor the runner’s favorite rush of endorphins and oxytocin. 

And I know, helper that you are, you will want to show the JAMA article to the top-blower you love, and bring them to your next yoga class, or at least show them how to breathe properly. But this tactic is bound to hit resistance. Everyone has to come to these conclusions on their own, or through the recommendation of someone they think is objective and wise, and that’s not usually their wife or brother. No matter how wise you may be!

But here’s something that might make you feel helpful anyway: When you are able to bring your own calm presence into a situation, the overall level of stress does decline. Maybe not a whole lot, but some. And that’s better than you jumping into the fray and adding to the cortisol rush!

Here are some quick things to do throughout the day to maintain equanimity, or “the balance that is born of wisdom”, as Sharon Salzberg says. If we can stress less, we may live longer and wiser, and so may our loved ones!

Breathe through your nose. This brings fresher, cleaner air deep into the lungs to support your entire system. Whole books are written about breathing, but the usual takeaway is, close your mouth!

Take a movement break. Concentration is a huge workout for your brain, and it needs a change of pace as much as your body does. Grab a hula hoop or jump rope, march in place, do some simple yoga or resistance stretches.

Meditate. Two minutes, five minutes, an hour; it doesn’t matter, as long as you actually do it. Find an app for your phone to make it simple.

Notice. What ticks you off? When do you start to crave a snack? What makes one day great and another so-so or worse? Some of these things are adjustable, and once you are aware you can make beneficial changes in your routine or your surroundings. Or in the people surrounding you!

Hydrate. Yeah I know. Boring. But it makes a difference, so chug some water every so often, or sip it throughout the day. Flavor it if you want, just no/low sugar please. 

Here’s to less stress in your self, your household, your workplace, your life!

Peace,

Jeannette

Kindness is Everywhere

My friend Risa and I are working on a September yoga retreat with the theme: Kindness is Contagious, so I’ve been thinking a lot about kindness these days. Today my thoughts ran to the many people who are not being kind now, who are causing a ruckus on airplanes, who are shouting at people who think differently than they do, who don’t hesitate to tell someone they are stupid for thinking a certain way.

I had the momentary thought that kindness was lacking these days. That only lasted an instant, as right then someone stopped his truck to let me enter a busy roadway. I began to recall the many ways I see people being kind to each other every day.For every act of rudeness I see, there are a whole cluster of simple acts of kindness to counter it, if only I’d notice.

Noticing the good stuff is weirdly hard! We humans run on a negativity bias. It’s not our fault; it is a survival mechanism. We once needed to see every threat and danger around us to keep ourselves safe. Too bad we still cringe at every backhanded compliment/insult, and take umbrage at a thoughtless comment, as if they were dire threats to our very lives. These things don’t truly hurt us, and it would be great if we could just let them roll off us like water off a duck’s back!

But no, we hang on to them, replaying them over and over. It seems to take forever to forget a simple, perceived insult!

It is thought that we need 4-5 good experiences to counteract one negative experience. Even if the negative thing was silly, like someone making fun of the way you dance. That’s a pretty heavy ratio, but we can each be part of evening things out.

Maybe you can even take that on as your job: The Counter-acter! Piling on the kindness to alleviate the pain. You can create and offer good experiences wherever you go! Compliment an outfit. Genuinely thank the counter person. Give a big tip. Let someone else go first. Bring flowers to your friend. These are tiny things; you can go deeper if you want!

Be the person people are always happy to see. And you’ll be happier, too.

Kindness is contagious. It is spread through a smile, a thoughtful gesture, a sense of peace in your own heart. You are kindness personified. Remember that, and revel in it!

***

The Root to RIse Yoga Mini Retreat, Kindness is Contagious, is Sunday, Sept. 19 from 2-4:30pm in Florham Park, NJ. There will be accessible yoga, a themed labyrinth walk, and lots of useful tools and methods to get you feeling the kindness! If you’ve never been to one of our retreats, now is the time, as it is probably our last chance for an outdoor retreat until spring. See the Retreats and Events page on this website for more info and to sign up!

Not feelin' groovy yet? Don't worry, it's a process

The other day I got an email that reminded me of something that is important for all of us to know:

We can be strong and brave and keep moving when in the midst of a traumatic situation; it is when the trauma is over that we break down.

This weekend marks the official start of summer (Happy Memorial Day, by the way!!). We step out this week into a new season and a changed world, and we bring a new attitude, new practices, and new wisdom to it all.

So if you are feeling wobbly all of a sudden, don't worry; it's a natural response to the ending of a trauma. And yes, the pandemic was a real trauma experience. And yes, this "ending" is not a marked point, but a process that we are at the start of.

Everyone has had a unique experience in the past year and a half, and we are having different reactions as we move forward.

Please be gentle with yourself. Allow for your trepidation, for your misgivings, and for your sadness. Let them run their course.

Allow enjoyment, hope, and fun.

Get with friends. Sleep late when you can. Nourish yourself with seasonal foods. Sit in the sun. Sit in the shade. Take leisurely walks. Have a beer!

And always be compassionate to those who are having a different experience. We each travel our own journey; let's not add obstacles to each others' paths.

We got this. We have each other. Get support when you need it. Give support when you can. Send out loving energies, and open your heart to receiving that from others. I am sending you lots of love and peace right now!!

Have you ever played Rose and Thorn?

Moving into summer of 2021 makes me want to squint my eyes a little, peek out from behind the curtains, and try to gauge the mood of the world before I get dressed and step outside.

I want to brace myself before slipping out of the cocoon I’ve been wrapped in this past year. I need a deep breath before stepping out into a world that has not felt welcoming or comforting or even safe recently.

Some of us, myself included, suffered real loss these past months. People have left the Earthly realm, leaving us to grieve. Many have lost jobs, homes, friendships. Sometimes, just breathing seems too hard. 

As a collective, we have been through the wringer. We have seen more changes and challenges than have taken place in generations, if ever. The pandemic has forced us to look at our government, our communities, our friendships, and our work differently. Change is hard even when we are supported in it; forced on us this way, change feels untenable, almost impossible to tolerate and adapt to. 

But adapt we must, and adapt we will, because that’s why we are here, as humans, on this planet at this time.

Do you feel something similar? I’ve been thinking about what I need to do in order to bring back the sense that life is back on track, even if it’s on a different track than it was on in 2019. 

Here’s what I came up with:

Clarify 

Sometimes at dinner we play “Rose and Thorn”, taking turns to describe the best and worst parts of our day. What is your Rose from this period of quarantine? What is your Thorn?

How can you bring more Rose to 2021, and how will you take the thorny parts and either morph them into something useful, or get rid of them.

What will you keep; what are you happy to see fall by the wayside? How do you want your world to look and feel, now that we have the opportunity to step into something new?

Align

Once you’ve found clarity, or some semblance of it, around the benefits and challenges brought on by the pandemic, it’s time to find a way to contain these conflicting thoughts, ideas, and emotions. We want to come out into the light with two feet on the ground, balanced and ready to move forward. So how?

It will take a certain amount of acceptance, and a bunch of courage to face this new era. We can learn to breathe through our anxieties, and practice grounding and root chakra work. We can learn to be honest with ourselves and our loved ones about how we are feeling, and how we are faring as we step forward. 

We need courage to face the new, and courage to change. We can access our inner wisdom and our sense of hope and all-is-well-ness. We can see ourselves as aligned and sturdy and ready to face the world - even if we don’t quite feel it yet.

Emerge

While a butterfly emerges from its cocoon whole, beautiful, and ready to fly away in just an hour or two, our emergence may take more time, and that is okay. 

Baby steps are encouraged. We need time and self-compassion to become happy inhabitants of this new space, this new era. 

We need to practice tolerance, and hone our listening skills. We need to find ways to be in community with people who support us even when we don’t always agree.  

We need to emerge even if we don’t feel quite ready yet. Because there are people to be loved, communities to be supported, and work to be done. 

We can find Clarity of purpose. 

We Align ourselves with that inner strength we may have forgotten lives inside of us. 

We can allow the cycle of transformation to continue until we feel strong and ready and wise. Or at least see that we are becoming those things! 

Then we can Emerge into a world where we feel grounded and ready to serve, love, and be joyful again. Our wings will dry, we will be gorgeous, and off we will go!

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Hugo.

Hugo who?

Hugo go first, it’s scary out there!

OK, I’ll go first. Or maybe we can go together. 

Episode 1: I was a scaredy-cat but I'm braver now. Are you?

I grew up in a big family that enjoyed spending a ridiculous amount of time outdoors. We were five girls, all in a row, then one boy at the tail end. We lived in small-town Illinois and were allowed to freely explore the fringes of the woods and fields that surrounded our square-block neighborhood (the freedom of the 60’s!), so my world felt vast and open, especially under the broad midwestern skies. 

There was fort-building, “crick” jumping, salamander and garter snake catching. We rode our bikes around the block and roller-skated down the sidewalk, metal wheels clanking. 

I do have fond memories of all that outdoorsy fun, but more often than not you could find me hiding behind a living room chair with a Wizard of Oz book and a stolen sandwich cookie. Or preferably not find me and leave me to my fantasy world.

Given my druthers, I’d often choose my books or my dollhouse over running through the woods. As I grew, I resisted joining sports teams and instead spent time in more solitary pursuits. 

So yeah, I’d hide from family football games and be the one slipping and getting my sneakers wet jumping the creek. But my how things have changed!

Now I’m a 60 year old yoga teacher. Two of my sisters and my mom are regulars in my yoga classes, and we often marvel that I, the least athletic of all the kids, am at the head of the class as teacher, leading my former gymnastics-club-member sisters to fitness. 

I still hide to read my books, though - some habits die hard.

Follow along for a glimpse into the teenaged me! See Episodes 2 & 3!!