My friend Risa and I are working on a September yoga retreat with the theme: Kindness is Contagious, so I’ve been thinking a lot about kindness these days. Today my thoughts ran to the many people who are not being kind now, who are causing a ruckus on airplanes, who are shouting at people who think differently than they do, who don’t hesitate to tell someone they are stupid for thinking a certain way.
I had the momentary thought that kindness was lacking these days. That only lasted an instant, as right then someone stopped his truck to let me enter a busy roadway. I began to recall the many ways I see people being kind to each other every day.For every act of rudeness I see, there are a whole cluster of simple acts of kindness to counter it, if only I’d notice.
Noticing the good stuff is weirdly hard! We humans run on a negativity bias. It’s not our fault; it is a survival mechanism. We once needed to see every threat and danger around us to keep ourselves safe. Too bad we still cringe at every backhanded compliment/insult, and take umbrage at a thoughtless comment, as if they were dire threats to our very lives. These things don’t truly hurt us, and it would be great if we could just let them roll off us like water off a duck’s back!
But no, we hang on to them, replaying them over and over. It seems to take forever to forget a simple, perceived insult!
It is thought that we need 4-5 good experiences to counteract one negative experience. Even if the negative thing was silly, like someone making fun of the way you dance. That’s a pretty heavy ratio, but we can each be part of evening things out.
Maybe you can even take that on as your job: The Counter-acter! Piling on the kindness to alleviate the pain. You can create and offer good experiences wherever you go! Compliment an outfit. Genuinely thank the counter person. Give a big tip. Let someone else go first. Bring flowers to your friend. These are tiny things; you can go deeper if you want!
Be the person people are always happy to see. And you’ll be happier, too.
Kindness is contagious. It is spread through a smile, a thoughtful gesture, a sense of peace in your own heart. You are kindness personified. Remember that, and revel in it!
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The Root to RIse Yoga Mini Retreat, Kindness is Contagious, is Sunday, Sept. 19 from 2-4:30pm in Florham Park, NJ. There will be accessible yoga, a themed labyrinth walk, and lots of useful tools and methods to get you feeling the kindness! If you’ve never been to one of our retreats, now is the time, as it is probably our last chance for an outdoor retreat until spring. See the Retreats and Events page on this website for more info and to sign up!
